Above Image by Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Joshua Becker, author of Things That Matter, shared about a time when he was vacationing on a boat with his family and other tourists. The captain stopped the boat and invited those who wanted to leap from the ship to the water twenty-five feet below into the ocean. Most of the young men and teenagers began jumping in, but then Joshua noticed quite a few elderly couples just watching and not participating. Joshua’s wife asked him if he was going to jump, and he said, “Yes,…while I still can.” ¹

He has realized that life is not so short; it is more wasted on things that don’t matter. He did not want to look back at that moment, whether it was the next day or years later, and regret not jumping.

With the holidays upon us, several men in my Sunday morning group expressed the difficulties of family and friends coming over and anxiety about having meaningful conversations with them about their faith, or lack of it. They often hesitate to bring up what matters most and how to navigate those conversations.

Some have children who were raised in the church and walked away from their faith, adopting a stance of skepticism or atheism. Others have family members who may be living a life that better represents a smorgasbord of various religions, picking and choosing what they like the most. Still, others don’t see a need. It’s not so much they don’t believe in God, but they live a life where their good outweighs their bad, and the great cosmic scale will tip in their favor. This is the most common belief in our culture, and many Christians who lack an understanding of the cross adopt the view that, “good people go to Heaven”.

When I hear that, or variations of it, just a few of the many questions I have would be:

• What is good enough?
• How many good deeds do you need to be considered good?
• Do your good deeds cancel out your bad ones?
• Do your deeds have gravity? In other words, does giving away all you own to the poor have more weight than taking out the trash for your elderly neighbor?
• Who decides what is good?
• Is that a subjective good or an objective good?

These questions can be, and should be, asked genuinely, not flippant or to embarrass who you are asking. You should want to know and understand their view, but many who claim that good people go to Heaven have not really given it much thought.

Greg Koukl wrote in his book Tactics, A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions, “Always make it a goal to keep your conversations cordial. Sometimes that will not be possible. If a principled, charitable expression of your ideas makes someone mad, there’s little you can do about it. Jesus’ teachings made some people furious. Just make sure it’s your ideas that offend and not you, that your beliefs cause the dispute and not your behavior.” ²

Questions come naturally to me, and I personally enjoy those conversations. That is, I enjoy talking to others about religion and politics. It is not so much that I am exceptionally well versed, but I want to understand the views of others, especially if they hold a view counter to mine. I approach those conversations with the view that I could be wrong. I don’t believe I am, and I feel quite confident that in most of those conversations, I hold the correct view.

Sometimes, someone might share something I’ve not heard before. Consequently, I don’t have anything to offer. I might ask a few clarifying questions to better understand their view, but then I will go home and think about what was said. What is the worst-case scenario? You received an education. No harm, no foul.

I don’t feel any pressure to have a riposte to everything someone says that I don’t believe is correct.

The questions should be asked before you can’t. Who knows if you will see them again, or how much time you have. This holiday season, enjoy your family and friends. You should be genuinely interested in their lives. Ask questions, and maybe, just maybe, you may think of something in the process of the conversation to share that could point to God.